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So... the police came by the house today. Asking for me.

... wait, what?

Yes indeed. Just after I left for work -- apparently not 5 minutes after -- up to the doorstep comes the lieutenant of the local police department, wanting to ask me some questions. Apparently, there's been an individual prowling the neighborhood at night, rattling door handles and tapping on windows. The lieutenant said that this person had been seen running down the street and up our driveway, and she just wanted us to be aware that a lot of people in our neighborhood (such as it is -- we live on the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere) have guns in their houses and are getting ready to shoot someone if they're not careful. When she asked after my whereabouts, my mother said, "Just go to the Boone Mall and look for the tall guy in black." (I've worn pretty much nothing but black for almost 10 years now.) The lieutenant's response? "Oh, this guy was wearing all black too."

...I don't know what to think. I've never had a run-in with the law exceeding the occasional traffic fine. I pretty much don't leave my room when I'm at home, and I sure as shit don't appreciate the insinuation that I'm trespassing and people are getting ready to shoot me. There's no possible way to prove that I'm doing it -- since I'm not -- but something in my gut tells me that this lieutenant is pulling some shenanigan or other. Why, I can't say. But it feels wrong.

I go to talk to her, I'm going with a lawyer. Fuck that.
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Maybe if I'm lucky it'll blizzard tomorrow and I won't have to go to work.


While I'm here, I'll have Spain, too, please.
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Hells yes. Now that is some funny shit.
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OPE, never mind. Turns out she was just trying to use me to make her boyfriend jealous.

Silly me. Maybe eventually I'll learn.

Fuck this.
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A beautiful young woman told me tonight that she thought I was, and I quote, "gorgeous".

It may sound shallow, but I think I needed that. Might be the first unsolicited and sincere compliment I've received in months.
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Go to and select the year you became 18. Paste the list of the top 75 songs. Bold the ones you liked; strike the ones you disliked; and italicize the ones you know but don't exactly like nor dislike. The ones you don't know will stay common text.

1. Cotten Eye Joe - Rednex
2. One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey & Boys II Men
3. I'll Be There For You - Rembrandts
4. Run Away - Real McCoy
5. You Gotta Be - Des'ree
6. Boombastic - Shaggy
7. I Could Fall In Love - Selena
8. Take Your Time (Do It Right) - Max-A-Million
9. Better Man - Pearl Jam
10. Fantasy - Mariah Carey
11. We've Got It Goin' On - Backstreet Boys
12. Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman? - Bryan Adams
13. Fat Boy - Max-A-Million
14. This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
15. I Like It, I Love It - Tim McGraw
16. Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band
17. Hey Lover - LL Cool J
18. The Woman In Me - Shania Twain
19. I Wish - Skee-Lo
20. Jeremy - Pearl Jam
21. Come And Get Your Love - Real McCoy
22. When I Come Around - Green Day
23. Sexual Healing - Max-A-Million
24. Thank You - Boyz II Men
25. Kiss From A Rose - Seal
26. Total Eclipse of the Heart - Nikki French
27. Any Man Of Mine - Shania Twain
28. What Would You Say - Dave Matthews Band
29. Big Poppa - Notorious B.I.G.
30. Tootsie Roll - 69 Boyz
31. I Believe - Blessid Union Of Souls
32. Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root
33. Bizarre Love Triangle* - New Order
34. Gangsta's Paradise - Coolio
35. Everything Zen - Bush
36. New Age Girl - Dead Eye Dick
37. The Bomb! - The Bucketheads
38. I Got Id - Pearl Jam
39. Let Me Be The One - Blessid Union Of Souls
40. Colors Of The Wind - Vanessa Williams
41. Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number - Aaliyah
42. Lightning Crashes - Live
43. Boom Boom Boom - Outhere Bros.
44. Good - Better Than Ezra
45. Tonight Is The Night - Le Click
46. Short Short Man - 20 Fingers
47. Run-Around - Blues Traveller
48. Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop) - Scatman
49. December - Collective Soul
50. Hooked On You - Silk
51. Waterfalls - TLC
52. (I Could Only) Whisper Your Name - Harry Connick, Jr.
53. Creep - TLC
54. Dreaming Of You - Selena
55. Good Intentions - Toad The Wet Sprocket
56. Misery - Soul Asylum
57. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me - U2
58. Buddy Holly - Weezer
59. Roll To Me - Del Amitri
60. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
61. Hurt - Nine Inch Nails
62. As I Lay Me Down - Sophie B. Hawkins
63. Baby Baby - Corona
64. Lick It - Roula
65. Carnival - Natalie Merchant
66. Girlstown - Supercat
67. Baby - Brandy
68. Hand In My Pocket - Alanis Morissette
69. I Kissed A Girl - Jill Sobule
70. Seether - Veruca Salt
71. Let Her Cry - Hootie and the Blowfish
72. Exhale (Shoop Shoop) - Whitney Houston
73. Wonderful - Adam Ant
74. Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead
75. I'm The Only One - Melissa Ethridge
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Grab the book nearest you, turn to page 23, find the fifth sentence. Write down what it says, clap it at the end of the following paragraph, and post the newly added-to paragraph in your journal. Don't forget to add your name to the list.

1) Stone Mirror
2) Ranger Rick
3) Rialian
4) Elenbarathi
7) Lintilla
8) Thirtysilver
9) Walneto
10) myTildeBang
11) kaithekender
12 & 13) kaaron
14) heddychaa
15) ionic
16) advancedbeing

Brandy, and Tom got increasingly close-mouthed and sour. Although a certain sense of tripartite society survived down to Christian times, the three classes described in the Eddic poem "Rigdthula" bear little resemblance to Dumezil's three. It is often argued, and still oftener thought, that none but bad men would desire to weaken these salutary beliefs; and there can be nothing wrong, it is thought, in restraining bad men, and prohibiting what only such men would wish to practice. At its nearest point the wall was little more than one league from the City, and that was south-eastward. It was not always possible to get a view sufficiently distant for my taste, but the lighting was excellent. "Unusual name," I said, shaking his hand, "I'm Thursday Next." Why did you spend most of this conversation staring at a loudly ticking clock on the wall? Servo and Crow say their prayers. A heavenly being appeared to her and said "you are railing at the suffering which is being inflicted on you now.["] He'd been talked about for the presidency, before the party moved to the Goldwater right. Vic Lynn was counting four stitches to the corner of his left eye from another high stick from Warwick, who nicked him just as he had a great chance on goal. Alex aimed his light at each of us in turn. Pre-reform German spelling used space/no space to mark semantic distinctions. Powerful shoulder muscles rolled and bunched beneath skin burnished deep gold by the firelight. If you will not come slack of former services, you shall do well; the fault of it I shall answer. God help any of us if we break it . . . as I judge you're suggesting I should.
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It's, I guess, interesting. Every year, I think I've hit bottom. Every year, I prove myself wrong.

I suppose that just shows how much I take for granted. This time next year, I'll have lost something or someone else. Perhaps this will be the year I truly lose everything. Guess we'll see.
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This time of year
reminds me of things
I should really try to forget.
The cold air, brittle on my skin
as well as the impending anniversary of undeath
with the promise of commercialized consumerism's holy day
just around the corner.

You said that this was important to you, this day.
This arbitrary anniversary of nothing.
You said, and you were not wrong, that it meant a communion:
Of family.
Of togetherness.
Of happiness, and of benevolence.
How fortunate, then, that these are things I have not with you.

Random things evoke you. Sounds, images, people.
I saw you today on the face of a magazine. When
I looked again, you were not there.
I heard you call my name with tenderness,
heard your soft timbre caress the word like a lover's hand. When I turned, it was not you.
You came to me today with a question in your eyes. For a long moment, I held your gaze before
turning away.

The radio screams obscenities at me, invoking your memory with every
statement of anger, every lament of heartbreak, every thought
of intimacy.
I barely listen as I scream along with it.
Am I still in love with you? Yes, but
I'd swear to god if I thought he'd listen
that I don't want to be anymore.
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My body is tearing itself apart from within. This is not a metaphor, this is truth.

Every morning I awaken to survey the new damage I have wrought upon myself in hours unguarded.

In other news, I seem to no longer be attempting to asphyxiate myself in my sleep. That, I suppose, is something.

I'm sorry I wasn't stronger. I tried to be, not realizing that that kind of strength is something you don't try for; you simply have or have not.
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I just broke a cardinal rule of mine and watched the news.

Yes, it's a rant, but I'm fucking pissed. )
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And I'm looking at you through the glass
I don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
It's the stars, the stars that lie to you
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Well, only 2 people took it, so the curve is more of a right angle. Anyhoo, here are the answers.

Read more... )
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I did something decidedly uncharacteristic of me last night. I went to a bar, and got drunk. And for a few hazy minutes, it seemed as though none of this mattered as much. I then felt more at peace than I have in months.

Because of this, I am not going back.
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Interest collage meme. )
Create your own! Originally Written By [ profile] ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by [ profile] darkman424
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I did not take this picture, nor was I present when it was taken. However, I feel it worth sharing with the world: I am convinced that more beautiful children exist nowhere on earth.

My two neices and my nephew. )

Good god, do I miss them.
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Went to a beginner's aikido class tonight. It was given by an aikido club sponsored by Appalachian State University -- fortunately, I don't have to be a student to attend. We practiced some very basic forward and backward floor rolls, as well as a couple of simple grab defenses.Honestly, I was a little nervous at first, but the people there had no problem at all with making the newbies feel at home. Verdict? Yeah, I'm going back.
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What you are, I was. What I am, you will be.
Time flies, but not memory.
He conquers who conquers himself.
Every hour wounds; the last one kills.
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