alchemystic: (Blue Profile)

Tu fui, ego eris

Tempus fugit, non autem memoria

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Created on 2012-01-25 08:06:17 (#1450104), last updated 2012-01-25 (294 weeks ago)

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449 Journal Entries, 4 Tags, 0 Memories, 5 Icons

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Birthdate:Oct 16
Location:United States of America
If pain truly serves to remind you that you are alive, then some part of my mind must believe me immortal.

What I write here is, first and foremost, my business. If I want to write depressing things, then so be it. If I want to write happy things, then so be it. If I want to describe in detail the process through which the human body is clinically eviscerated, then so be it. I write whatever the hell I want to here. This is my world, and welcome to it.

What I decided, long ago, to use this journal for is a medium for my darkest thoughts, my inner fears, my most depressing moments. By expunging them here, I can more easily deal with them in life. I am not completely pictured here by my words...nor has anyone ever been completely represented by what they write in their journal. This is a facet, a shade, a mood. This is but one part of an infinitely more complex whole. The human animal, in all its respects, is by far too complex a thing to be fully represented in such a limited venue as this. I can't do it, you can't do it. There is always a part of oneself that remains hidden from the world, and always will be. That is how things are, how they've always been, and they're not changing now.

With this in mind, please forgive me when I say that no one has any right to accuse me of being hypocritical with what I put here for all to see. I do not go around with a scowl on my face twenty-four hours a day. I do not mope in corners for want of some kind of purpose in life. I am not going to jump off a cliff. These things, however, do not mean that I am lying, or misrepresenting myself in any way here. I am more than what you read. If you want to know more, get to know me -- fully -- before you make offhand judgments. Thank you.

Children R Skary

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akira kurosawa, aldous huxley, alex, alexandre dumas, android lust, animusic, antimatter, apathy, apocalypse, apocalyptic dreams, armchair psychology, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, being a failure, being a traitor, being alone, being confused, being dishonest with myself, being dispassionate, being free, being honest with myself, being objective, being the last one, betrayal, betraying myself, betraying others, bjork, bojitsu, bram stoker, breaking free, catatonia, charlie, chuck palahniuk, coffee, cold, coldness, cowardice, dead can dance, depression, dragons, dreams, drumming, drums, dying, edgar allan poe, end of the world, erosis, erupting, failing, failure, false humility, false intellectualism, fixing my problems, freezing temperatures, frightening large adults, frightening small children, fucking with your mind, garbage, gaston leroux, george orwell, giving up, going to hell, growing up, hans rudi giger, hating people, having someone understand, herman hesse, hiding myself from you, holding back, holding executioners' coats, holding on, howard phillips lovecraft, hypocrisy, john steinbeck, juno reactor, kurt vonnegut, lacuna coil, learning, learning from mistakes, learning to live, leather, letting go, living, living in regret, love spirals downward, luis royo, lying to myself, making mistakes, manic depression, martial arts, mary shelley, mediocrity, moby, monochromaticity, monomania, moonspell, my sister, negative utopia, neil gaiman, nick, nightwish, not dying like this, not fighting anymore, not giving a fuck, not learning, objectivity, obsessive/compulsive disorder, oneroid psychosis, orson scott card, paul oakenfold, philip k. dick, playing music, ray bradbury, reading, rediscovering purpose, repeating mistakes, repeating past sins, robert louis stevenson, ruining my life, salvador dali, sarah maclachlan, savannah, scars, screaming, self-analysis, self-contradiction, self-criticism, self-mutilation, stabbing westward, stagnating, stubbornness, succumbing, surviving, the advancement of intellect, the color black, the demise of civilization, the human condition, the inhuman condition, tool, tori amos, torturing myself, tristania, unter null, victor hugo, vladmir nabokov, watching the world die, wearing black, william gibson, writing, writing music

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